Relationship Astrology: Planets Rule In Lasting Relationships

Love Birds

Love Birds

Judith Wallerstein in her 1995 book “The Good Marriage” proposed that there are nine sequential developmental tasks in building a lasting relationship. Looking over the list it was hard not to find a correlation between the planets and the developmental tasks at hand. There were some surprises in the list. Mercury for instance is not generally considered a “relationship” planet, and yet it has an important task in the formation of a lasting relationship. The first one on the list is a surprise as well. Let’s take a look at these tasks and the planet to which they correspond:

1.) Separating emotionally from the family of origin and investing in the marriage. Uranus is the planet that rules this function as it is the planet of forming a separate identity.

2.) Building togetherness while maintaining individual autonomy. This task is about supporting the values of the individuals within the relationship. Venus, the planet of love, is also about our value systems, so a well aspected Venus in the composite chart goes a long way towards showing how we value our partners values.

3.) Becoming a parent—Procreation is about expanding the family. Since Jupiter is all about expansion, it is a natural to rule this developemental task.

4.) Effectively managing the inevitable crises of life—Crisis for growth is a function of Pluto.

5.) Building within the relationship a sense of safety for the expression of differences and conflict—Saturn while traditionally considered the planet of restrictions and limitations is also about building structures for safely navigating the world.

6.) Maintaining a loving sexual relationship—Mars, and for obvious reasons.

7.) Applying humor in appropriate ways and keeping the relationship interesting-Intellectual stimulation is a key ingrediant for keeping things lively in a relationship. While Mercury is about the thinking processes, it has a more important function then we’ve recognized so far as explained in this post here.

8.) Creating an atmosphere conducive to nurturance, comforting an encouragement, and vulnerability—The Moon rules all these functions.

9.) Preserving the early relationship idealizations while simultaneously accepting the realities that presently exist.—As much as Neptune is about our illusions in life, it is also about our ideals. Our sense of ourselves is in part wrapped with certain illusions and ideals, and we would find it difficult to navigate the world without them.

Another post in this series is: Making Love Last, Part 1: Your Relationship Style

If you would like a question answered on these pages send your birth date, birth place and birth time along with your question to Sorry, time constraints prevent me from doing readings on anything other than a single question.

Photo created from image under Creative Commons License from Flickr.

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5 Responses to Relationship Astrology: Planets Rule In Lasting Relationships

  1. tvowles says:

    Very interesting blog beth – for me it highlights percectly the Aries/Libra axis and how self/relationship brings all other things in the door you open! (and out again!)

    • bturnage says:


      Thanks! It is a sure thing that what we have on the table affects our relationships. I often tell my clients imperfect people yield imperfect relationships. This series is going to explore how each of the planets affect our relationships and how the planets of composite chart works in the relationship. It has been interesting work!

  2. Michelle says:

    I think it’s strange when people discount the planets other than the Sun, Moon, Venus and Mars in synastry- as if sexual compatibility were the only factor in a long-lasting relationship.

    • bturnage says:


      You’re right, but then again, I haven’t seen a whole lot of material that explores the other planets in terms of relationship. Unless I’ve missed something. 🙂

  3. Pingback: Astrology Explored - Relationship Astrology: Uranus & Establishing A Pair As A Couple

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