Parents just about experience it hear about it from battle weary veterans who tell their stories with a knowing yet tired look. Your precious darling has just hit the teenage years. You just don’t know who this person with t he multi color hair, and unfathomable body piercings across from the table is. Did some alien race come in the middle of the night and steal away little Sally or Joey? They must have. The Sally and Joey you know are the ones who demanded hugs and kisses before they went to sleep at night and asked for milk with their cookies. Now this creature before you gives a withering look when you ask if they want milk, “Please, mother, you knooow I don’t eat anything with a face. I’m a vegan.”
Vegan, smegan, you say as you send off the DNA test to the nearest lab, but the results come back and to your amazement that creature is your child.
On top of this, even though there is some dramatic changes going on in the life of your child, you are kept out the loop in any major development . You are not even on the mailing list in the child’s list of very important people.
What is going on here? One word, Uranus.
The cycles of Uranus coincide with major shifts in individual evolution. Uranus asks, “How are you going to act as in individual within the community?” The first major energetic connection is the waxing Uranian sextile between the ages of thirteen and fourteen. When Uranus in motion in the heavens is 60 degrees away from the position of Uranus at the time of birth, Uranian electricity surges through the newly forged energetic connection and activates the drive to act as an individual. Uranus demands separation from the parent.
Previous to this new connection, the child and the parent the Moon rules child relationship. Mom, apple pie, chocolate chips cookies. The soothing presence of the adult calmed fears and provided guidance. The roles are comfortable, and life affirming. When Uranus steps up, the resulting jolt leaves everyone off balance.
The connection that Uranus makes by transit to planets in the chiid’s birth chart describes the manner in which the individuation process is activated.
Uranus in energetic connection with the Sun. A clash of wills can develop between parent and child as the child asserts their individuality. The square and opposition bring violent clashes, while the sextile and trine allows the child to appear to conform at home, while they put on different clothes and makeup at school. It is helpful in this process to allow the child freedom of expression as long as they follow house rules and act appropriately at home and school. If they slip up, make the punishment memorable, (though not cruel). Avoid showdowns and nod indulgently when they tell you you don’t know anything. Tell them “I don’t need to know anything. I’m your mother.”
Uranus in energetic connection with the Moon. Your sunshiny child has become a bundle of nerves and, worse, is moody too. Trying to get them to talk about it only makes things worse. They play loud music because the music verbalizes raw emotions that they are unable to verbalize themselves. Offer support, but don’t expect acknowledgment. That comes much later, when they have children of their own and they need a baby-sitter for New Year’s Eve.
Uranus in energetic connection with Mercury. You never heard such stuff from the lips of your precious darling. Some of it makes pirates blush. There is lots of talk about what they are going to do, but it rarely pans out. Secretly they fear that they aren’t as smart as other people and may let their school work go because of it. Praise their efforts as often as possible, but again don’t expect them to believe you, since you don’t know anything. That’s OK, you are their mother.
Uranus in energetic connection with Venus. Suddenly the rose covered wallpaper is not cool enough. Normal is a no no. One teenager I know used bingo daubers to repaint her room. Since her mom was an Aquarian (ruled by Uranus) the mom thought it was clever. Another mother would have fainted dead away. Suddenly the child has a social conscience and she wonders how her parents could have messed up the world so much. Your values are suddenly a gauche exercise is consumerism. Mooother, how could you? Smile as you send off the check for the light bill, because now you know the where the Mother’s Curse (May you have a child just like you) comes from.
Uranus in ernergetic connection with Mars. Everything is a fight as your child thrashes his or her way through adolescence. If there isn’t an authority figure to take on, he’ll take it out on his friends. If you find you need to seek professional advice, either from your own motjher or a competent mental health professional it is not a reflection of your parenting skills.
An important aspect of Uranian process is that the parent needs to learn to trust the child. Pushing them to act or be a certain way will only push them away. Don’t sweat the small stuff and save your strength for the major battles. Do not expect gratitude. Do not expect expressions of love. If you’ve done your job in the first fourteen years, the next seven may be bumpy, but in the end your charming, adorable child will return, this time as a charming,adorable adult. And return they will. Remember New Year’s Eve?
If you would like a question answered on these pages send your birth date, birth place and birth time along with your question to firstname.lastname@example.org. Sorry, time constraints prevent me from doing readings on anything other than a single question.