Adventures of Mercury in Retrograde

Mercury appears in it orbit to going backwards in is orbit, an optical illusion created by Earth shooting temporarily past Mercury’s position. This condition lasts about three weeks, until Mercury can claim a post position next to the Sun. During this time, when Mercury is all wonky in its orbit we are warned that all sorts of things happen in regards to communications, transportation delays and problems with agreements.

There are scofflaws, of course, people who think that this all bunk. They will say there is no more of these types of occurrences during the Mercury in Retrograde period than any other time.

They should get acquainted with my automobile dealership.

Now I won’t name names, because that would only lead to trouble and I’m enough trouble as it is.

On the fourth of this month, on the eve of Mercury turning backwards in its orbit, my car suddenly stopped in the parking lot as I was on my home from work. It made a terrible noise and it wasn’t going anywhere. The upshot was that the ball joint snapped, and the front passenger tire hung impotently from whatever support was left. I was a lucky woman, because had this happened on the highway, things would be much worse.

After an unusual amount of back and forth, and two different tow trucks, I am hauled back to my town twenty-six miles by the good folks of AAA. What to do now? Go to the dealership. Nope, someone I knew had a good friend that could fix it, no problem. I am a lucky woman indeed.

Yeah, except after I bought a new ball joint, we found out that on my car, the ball joint was part of an arm assembly that was a factory sealed piece. “Enough”, I said, to the dealership we go.

Except they couldn’t get the car done on the date agreed (I am renting a car in the meantime). For this they said, we’ll fix your window, (which sadly went down one day and didn’t go back up again) Ms. Turnage no problem, we’ll make you a deal. Except the bill was double what was agreed, and the window still wasn’t fixed. And on the bill are written these words “Front end still has issues.” What? Does my front-end need psychotherapy to straighten it out? With the cost and the uncertainty of the repairs, I am feeling not so lucky. I speak with the General Manager, who I could tell was going to have a few words with the Service Manager in the morning. But don’t worry, Ms. Turnage, we’ll give you a call in the morning and let you know about the car. And I did get a call. They lost my car keys.

Only when Mercury is in retrograde motion . .

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