Interview with #Venus in #Virgo: Don’t Blow My Glow, Gurl

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(Astrology Explored Blog) Venus, the goddess of love and money, moved into the Virgo Suite of the Zodiac Hotel on October 3rd, and ever since, there’s been trouble. I got this message from one of my friends on Facebook:

Friend: So is it the stars that are making me feel so off-kilter?

Me: Venus in Virgo—so neurotic!

Friend: Exactly how it feels.

But perception isn’t always reality, so I decided to visit Venus and ask her what’s up.

Beth: (Knock, knock)

Venus: Who’s there?

Beth: Beth, the astrologer.

Venus: What? I don’t have time for knock, knock jokes.

Beth: (makes a note on her phone. “Has no sense of humor.”) Please, open the door, Venus, I’d like to speak to you.

Venus: Mars isn’t with you, is he? Damned stalker. He’s in Aries now and is sooooo annoying. I kicked his ass to the curb.

Beth: (rollls eyes. Thinks: “When her royal butt moves into Libra, she’ll change her mind.) No. He’s not with me.

Venus: (opens door with a huff. She’s patting away a facial mask with a towel.) I’m really very busy. What is it?

Beth: My clients have been complaining about, um, how bitchy everyone is. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

Venus: (with a huff) Moi? Please. (Her nose sniffs, and the odor of burning cookies wafts to the door.) Oh, see, what you made me do? (She rushes back into the suite, and pulls out a tray of charred cookies from the oven in the mini-kitchen.) My gluten-free, low glycemic, carob chip cookies are ruined! It’s all your fault.

Beth: It always is. Still the question remains.

Venus: Well, don’t blame me. I never like to visit the Virgo Suite. I’ve been celibate the whole time, well, except for the UPS man, but then who can resist a man in a brown uniform. Still, it’s been a literal desert, here. I’ll be so glad when I move to the LIbra Suite. Much more romantic, and I don’t have to make a decision about a single thing. Not like now when I must organize my lingerie drawer. Do you know what a bore that it, especially after the sixth time?

Beth: Um, yes, actually. Everyone’s been going through the same thing.

Venus: Well, you’ll have to deal with this all on your own. I really must get back to my beauty regimen. You never know when the UPS man will bring you that special package, you know?

Beth: But Venus—

Venus: Gurl, run along now, and don’t blow my glow. Bye.

Beth: (makes note in phone. “So glad Venus moves into Libra on October 27.)

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