(Astrology Explored) The only sound in my office is the tapping of my pen on my notebook. I look at the clock again. Damn it, the woman promised to be here yesterday, but then again, she’s not the most punctual. Then she canceled at the last minute, blaming it on Mercury in Retrograde, and promising with a “pretty please with a cherry on top,” to make our appointment today.
About to give up on the whole thing, my doorbell rang, and there she stood with a smile and a bunch of flowers in her hand. She wore a draped gossamer moonshine dress and silver sandals with straps that wound around her calves. It was the perfect outfit to commemorate her move into the sign of Cancer.
“Hello, Venus,” I said.
“You’ve been such a dear about this whole thing. For you,” she said. Venus offered the flowers with a charming smile.
I took them. Suspiciously, they strangely looked like the peonies from my bush in my front yard. Craning my neck I see, sure enough, several heads of the fragile flowers gone.
“Why thank you for saving me the trouble of fetching these myself.”
Venus blushed because wearing Cancer’s clothes, she can’t help it. I mean, that shimmery moonshine dress left nothing to the imagination.
“Come sit,” I said. “My office is down the hall.”
“Oh, I’d rather sit at the kitchen table. It’s cozier than a stuffy office.”
I pointed the way. “Have a seat. Would you like a lemonade? It’s homemade.”
“I’m doing Keto, so I made it with a low-glycemic sweeter.”
“Oh, you poor thing,” she said. “And no thanks. I prefer real sugar.”
She sat at the table. “So I suppose this means you don’t have cookie, or chips? Or pizza? I haven’t had lunch, I’ve been rushing so.”
I shook my head, “No carbs on Keto. But I can give you a nice salad.”
“Heaven’s forbid, no.”
“I’ll keep this short, then.” I sat at the table and found a notebook on the counter behind me and a pen in the stuff drawer.
“Ooh, you’re so organized.”
“Not really. So it looks like a rough month. Mercury is retrograde, messing up communications.”
She fanned herself with an imaginary fan. “That kid has always been a problem.”
“And Mars will chase you all month.”
She sniffed and wiped a tear from her eye. Her voice cracked when she spoke. “He’s never around when he should be. A girl has needs, you know.”
“What about your husband?”
“Vulcan? He’d rather pound metal on his forge than—”
I held up my hand. “I get the idea.”
Venus lifted her head, but her voice dripped hurt. “Besides, Mars has some sort of fight going on with Pluto, they being in opposition and all. I don’t want to get in the middle of that. Let the boys play their king-of-hill games. I have important things to do.”
“Spa days. Lots and lots of spa days. I’m getting up there in years, and I need to look my best. Daddy gave me his credit card and told me to spend what I want.”
“You know that Neptune isn’t actually your father, right?”
Venus huffed. “Well, so what? Neither is Pluto’s wife. I don’t care what Ceres says. It was Jupiter that did that deed. Can you imagine? Her own brother.”
“Neptune’s her brother, too.”
“Don’t you worry about that. And whatever man pays my bills is my daddy.”
“How enlightened of you. Okay then, and then later in the month Pluto opposes you?”
Venus’s eyes narrowed and blazed with anger. “And what of it? He blew it with me when he dragged off Cere’s daughter to marry. Besides, I hear those two are into some kinky—”
Yeah, I don’t need to listen to this.
“You know, I have another appointment due here in a couple of minutes. Sorry to cut this short.”
“Sure, sure. I’ll see myself out. Lovely to see you.” She spoke in a singsong voice as if happy to leave.
Venus made haste to the front door, and I didn’t mind because there was a knock at the back. I opened it to find a handsome man standing there.
“Venus left, right?” said Mars.
“Good. Because I hate it when she’s in Cancer. She’s so damned emotional.”
Check out what your Venus sign has to say about this month. To find your Natal Venus Position go here. https://horoscopes.astro-seek.com/birth-chart-horoscope-online
Fill out the info and construct your natal chart.
If your Venus is in Aries: Something’s off and you don’t know why. Everyone is crabby when you want to have a good time. Maybe it’s all those guy friends of yours that hang around they are jealous of. Share the wealth!
If your Venus is in Taurus: People do and say strange things, or you are perceiving it that way. Your best bet is to go along first and eat chocolate later.
If your Venus is in Gemini: It’s all fun and games until someone pokes you in the eye. Don’t sign agreements or make major purchases. Go easy on the wine, and keep your credit card in your wallet. You’ll only end up returning what you bought.
If your Venus is in Cancer: Sure, with Venus in the sky connecting with your natal chart, you’ll get some extra cash. But you’ll need to forgo summer fun to keep an erratic boss happy. Bummer.
If your Venus is in Leo: This month’s frantic pace arouses your inner control demon and aggravates old health problems. Lighten your load by delegating work and taking deep breaths.
If your Venus is in Virgo: Those in authority expect you to fix their problems. You can, but do you want to? You may find the problem is just a communications snafu.
If your Venus is in Libra: You may need better friends. You want people around you that celebrate’s your wins, instead of going on about what’s wrong.
If your Venus is in Scorpio: This month feels like two steps forward and one step back. If anyone can slog through difficult circumstances, it’s you. Hang in there.
If your Venus is in Sagittarius: If you ignore the gossip of others, and keep your cash in your wallet, you can have a good time. Getting wound up about what you can’t change is a recipe for misery.
If your Venus is in Capricorn: Worrying won’t change a thing, and though money and love aren’t moving in the direction you want, it will all work out. Give it time. In the meantime, be your own fabulous self.
If your Venus is in Aquarius: You could have money and love problems up the yin yang. Your saving grace is your ability to earn money with side hustles.
If your Venus is in Pisces: You’ve got to buckle down, maybe do some serious cost-cutting to get through this month. That’s okay. A little deprivation is good for the soul so you can appreciate what you have.