To: Transiting Mars. Address: in Leo:
Dude, its been, well, nice, but I’m afraid its time for you to move off that opposition to my Sun. Its not you, its me, I swear. I’m just not ready to be in a relationship that it is, well, so oppositional. I’m sure you understand. No, we can not be “just friends”
No, this isn’t about Uranus in my fourth house. You passed him as you came in. He’s always been there and he’s in a relationship with my Chiron. He’s like my brother, no, more like my psychiatrist, yes, that’s it.
Please no Uranus, my anus, jokes. Don’t you have more class than that? Now I’m like my Venus in Capricorn? Don’t drag her into this. She’s inconjunct to you I know, but she makes sense to me. And she told me you were trouble. Now I see it.
While we’re at it my friends don’t like you much either. One of them wanted me to get you to fix all the things you messed up. Apparently you’ve been doing a number on her as well with a crunched fender, a court judgment, and screwed up travel plans. I can’t take you anywhere, can I?
Look you are a TRANSIT after all. This was never meant to be permanent. Don’t you threaten to hook up with my Pluto in Leo! You won’t be there that long. You’re changing signs shortly and you’ll go into Virgo. Yes, Virgo. Have fun with that!
Oh, you’ll go through my fifth house now, will you? You just do that. Saturn is there too, sitting on my Jupiter so both you will have lots of fun messing up my love life.
Gawd, I’ll never get rid of you, will I? That’s what I get while trying to break up while Mercury is Retrograde.
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