Halloween coming up fast and you are surely thinking about what you are going to wear to the party. As that magical day ticks forward, all sorts of mischief brews in the concoction of Halloween costumes.
Fires signs, Aries, Leo and, Sagittarius men are far too busy to actually pick out a costume. Instead they delegate this task to their significant others, and then complain that the costume is too stupid, silly or dull to wear. They will dig up that silly hard hat that let’s them siphon off beer from two cans on either side of their heads, put on a flannel shirt and some jeans and calls themselves construction workers. Fire sign women want dress up as movie stars, of course.
The earth signs men, Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn secretly envy their fire sign friends’ chutzpah, but opt instead to go out as either policemen, firemen or some version of gun toting hunter or cowboy. The real naughty ones will dress up as sailors and then try to act the part. The women opt for Fairy Princess, Cinderella or Snow White, and then wonder why the sailor boys are trying to pick them up.
The water sign men, Cancer, and Pisces, don’t bother to ask their significant others to get a costume, nor do they pick one up themselves. They usually forget there is party to go to until they get home from work and see their honey decked out in full regalia. These are the people who poke holes in the bed sheets and call themselves ghosts, or wrap a towel around their waist and call themselves Egyptians. If the wife gets to them before they can deface the bed sheets, they’ll wrap it around themselves, calling it a toga, then give a fine display of ‘roman fingers all night long. The only exception to this is Scorpio, who still, after all these years, gets a kick out of their vampire cape and teeth, which they always have on hand for those special occasions. The women tend to dress up as Playboy bunnies, Vampira, Mistress of the Dark or a saucy medieval barmaid.
The air signs, Gemini, Libra and Aquarius give a lot of thought to their costumes, but that’s about it. At the last minute they’ll call their water sign friends to get some ideas, and after their wives and honeys pull the scissors out of their hands, make a quick run to K-Mart, Wal-Mart or that temporary costume store on the corner, spend way too much money for the last costume on the shelf and then expect their significant other to be the butt end of a horse or cow. After that idea is nixed, they will wrap themselves in cellophane, or in the case of Aquarius, tin foil, and spend an uncomfortable evening dealing with the consequences of their costume choice. The women will dress up in some version of magical creature, be it fairy, sprite, or angel, which they would have to be after spending an evening dealing with all this nonsense.
Here are some suggestions to ease the angst of costume creation that reflect the inner soul of your zodiac sign.
Aries—For the fire sign male that thinks they can charm anyone, what is more appropriate than a a snake charmer’s costume? There are two versions on the above website, one naughty and one nice. Which one do you think they’d choose? For the ladies, a sexy matador outfit appeals to your inner warrior.
Taurus—What can brown do for you? Taurus has no problem mixing the mundane with sublime, so a romp as a UPS delivery man just might be thing for you, though you may have to assemble this one yourself with a brown shirt, pants and cap. Let your honey help you with some fabric paint for the logo. Ms. Taurus can do her thing as a naughty housewife. Imagine the possibilities.
Gemini—If you guys haven’t got it yet, for some strange reason Spongebob Square Pants is a real turn-on for some women. Maybe it’s because he is just so innocent, or maybe he’s just so sappy, but I know some women that watch that cartoon. Gemini, you are just lighthearted enough to carry this costume off. Gem ladies, you can appear as an angel, fairy or butterfly, anything with wings. A ladybug costume might do nicely too.
Cancer—Come on, you know that you always think of yourself as a Barbie doll, don’t you, Cancer. Well this year you can dress yourself as one, all ready to unwrap, though the Barbie Solo Singer costume is more elegant and easier to drive in. Boy crabs pull of Barbie’s boyfriend, Ken with style.
Leo—Who else would you show up at the party as the Burger King. No, you have to wear the entire costume, because if you just wear the crown, no one will know you are dressed any different. Lady Leos may want to dig out that Cleopatra costume they’ve been saving for a rainy day.
Libra—You’ll come as a couple, so why not as a medieval prince and princess? You know you want to.
Scorpio—Time to shed that well-worn vampire cape and branch out to something a little more creative. Female Scorps should check out this Medusacostume, a natural seque to your inner temptress. Stag Scorps can render their inner demons with gusto with a good demon mask.
Sagitarrius—Who else would you be other than the iconic Captain America? No one looks better in Aqua spandex than you. Lady Archer’s playful side is revealed as a racy looking tennis player, typecasting if I ever saw it.
Capricorn—By day you are all buttoned up, hiding your wild side so well, no one knows that you have one. Lady Caps, always on the job anyway, do well as a saucy chambermaid, while guy goats act out as the gambler they wish they were.
Aquarius—Time to shed the tie-die redux that clutters your closets and your Halloween costumes. Aquarians never really seem to understand that clothes go in and out of style, which is why you are particularly popular with your friends this time of year. After all these years tie-dye is still a fashion staple for you. Perfect for socially hip Aquarians of both genders is a Facebook home page, made with some foam core board, a blue marker and a steady hand.
Pisces—Ruled by dreamy Neptune, Fish can be anything, but most often show up in the most cobbed together of costumes. Why? They are so busy dreaming about what they’d be, they spend almost no time putting the thing together. One Pisces guy this astrologer knew showed up with a cut up sheet as a diaper, drinking his beer in a baby bottle. Pick anything at all Pisces, other than that, because some memories are too tough to bear. Put on your leather jacket and Fedora and come as Indiana Jones. Lady Pisces, dress up as the gypsy you are.
All Photos published under a Creative Commons License from Flickr.