Mars Retrograde: Just What Are You Doing Down There?

Posted on January 23, 2012 by Beth Turnage

Marilyn Monroe The True Story (Astrology Explored) Newscaster: Mars stations in Virgo on the day of the Aquarian New Moon. Many astrologers have posted their take on this combo, but Astrology Media Press thought to ask the planets themselves, “What does it all mean?”

I am here at the celestial home of Venus, the goddess of beauty and Mars, the god of war. . .

Venus: (dressed as Marilyn Monroe speaking little breathlessly) And sex, don’t forget that he is the god of sex.

Newscaster: Yes, well this is a family show. (changing subject) I love what you are wearing.

Venus: Thank you. I am in the zodiac sign of Pisces right now.

Newscaster: And where is the man of the hour, Mars?

Venus: Um, yes. (Looks around over her shoulder).

Venus: Just where is he now? (Goes to doorway where there are stairs that leads down.)

Venus: (sweetly) Honey, are you down there?

Voice from basement: What?

Venus: (exasperated and in the breathless Marilyn voice) So sorry. He did know you were coming.

Venus: (shouting down the stairs again) Mars! The news people are here!

Mars: (from basement) What? I thought that was Thursday. Look I’m a little busy down here with Uranus.

Venus: (rolls her eyes. There is a knock at the door.)

Venus: Sorry! (rushes off to the door and finds Pluto at the door)

Pluto: Hey, sexy. (Steals a kiss) Where’s your man?

Venus: (flustered) This isn’t a good time. We’ve got a news interview.

Pluto: Really? (Pushes his way past Venus).  I bet he’s in that old man cave of his. Has Uranus gotten here yet? (Pluto heads down the stairs)

Venus: (stamps her feet) Now really! (Catches herself and looks sheepish)

Venus: (to newscaster) So sorry. He IS stationed right now. He tends to become focused on one thing when he stations and he IS in the zodiac sign of Virgo, so he is zeroed in on the minutia of what he is doing. (goes to stairs again.)

Venus: (shouting louder) Honey! The news people are waiting for you!

Mars: (shouting up the stairs) Just a minute! We are going over last year’s facts and figures! We’ve just got to get it right this time!

Venus: (perplexed) Last year? Honey, this is no time to do the taxes!

Various voices from the basement: Yeah! That’s right! We’ll do that again! That will show them! Good job! Be careful with that!

Newscaster: (counting on his fingers and growing alarmed) Mars, Uranus, Pluto. Isn’t it almost a year from when the Fukushima power plants exploded?

Venus: (absently, still staring down the basement steps) I suppose. (raises her voice in annoyance) Mars!

Sounds of footsteps on the stairs. Mars makes his appearance.

Mars: (Shakes newscaster hand) Hello, good to see you. I hope the little woman here (gives her affectionate squeeze a little too hard) has been making you comfortable. Caught me in the middle of a meeting. Lot’s of things coming up! Thinks are going to shake, rattle and roll! My friend Uranus will see to that. Pluto will help too. But we are still working on the details. Get in touch with my boy, Mercury, he handles communications . . .say around January 28, when he meets up with the Aquarius’ new moon point, when he’s at 2 degrees of Aquarius. All the details will come out then. Uranus rules Aquarius, don’t you know. Actually, Saturn used to rule Aquarius, but when Uranus came around, he was MORE than happy to share the work.

(Rumbling sounds come from the basement, Venus looks worried).

Mars: Oops! Got to go! (He bounds down the stairs again)

Venus: Oops? What the . . (She shouts down the stairs like a fishwife) Mars! What are you doing down there. You better not leave a mess for me to clean up!

Mars: (calling up the stairs) Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll take care of it.

Venus: (turning to newscaster, exasperated) As if he ever does.

Newscaster: (to audience smiling broadly) So there you have it folks. Expect some exciting things coming your way!

Photo published under a Creative Commons licensed issued by user brandbook as shown on Flickr.

horoscope chart Aquarian New Moon

Posted in Aspects, Fictional Characters and Cultural Icons, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Astrology of Business: Priceline Negotiator “Fired”

Posted on January 21, 2012 by Beth Turnage

Wiliam Shatner in 2005

William Shatner in 2005

(Astrology Explored) Priceline.com changed its business model so William Shatner must die. OK, not the actual William Shatner, but his Priceline persona, the Priceline Negotiator. In a commercial to be air this coming Monday, the Priceline Negotiator’s last words as he tumbles to a fiery death are, “Save yourselves . . . some money.”

“It’s a tough decision, but the bottom line is Priceline had to do it,” said Peter Sealey, adjunct professor at the Claremont Graduate University’s school of management. “They’re changing their business model from a name-your-price model to a fixed-price approach.”
Shatner’s Negotiator was just too good at representing the old approach, Sealey said.

“Had he been less effective, he could have been allowed to fade away,” he said.

The Priceline Negotiator was “fired” in the most literal terms possible going up in flames as the Negotiator and the bus from which he saved a bunch of fellow travelers explodes. And interestingly, the astrology shows the timing, which we’ll get to in a minute. But first let’s go into a little business history.

The iconic Shatner, known as “the man” by a number of his faithful fans, started as nascent Priceline’s front man in 1997, not for money, but in exchange for stock in the company. Wikipedia tell us: Continue reading →

Posted in Business, Fictional Characters and Cultural Icons, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Thrifty Brains and Predictive Astrology

Posted on January 19, 2012 by Beth Turnage

(Astrology Explored) What does the art of prediction and solving a daughter’s wardrobe crisis share in common?

My college age daughter came into my room with a belt.

“Can you fix this, mom?”

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t get the buckle to hook into the belt”

In other words the prong (some people call it the post) was not in the right place. Or was it?

I examined it for a few seconds and considered the options. To get the prong in position to slide into the holes in the belt I’d have to bend it so it would slip into the correct position on the other side of the frame of the buckle. But how did it get in the wrong position in the first place? Both the prong and the frame were sturdy and not amenable to bending. Something was wrong with this picture. I then looked at the belt and realized all I had to do was to turn the belt back through frame of the buckle and all was in the right place.

“Is this how it is supposed to look?”

The daughter looked at me as if I was some sort of magician. Continue reading →

Posted in Astrology Techniques, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The Astrology of Christmas Myths: Holiday Sales Will Save Us

Posted on January 9, 2012 by Beth Turnage

Super Santa ClausEvery year we hear the same thing. Holiday sales are up 3.5 or 3.8 or 4.1 percent. Good for the economy yes? Not so fast.

For someone like me who spent a good deal of her day job career crunching numbers, this 3% to 4 % stuff smells suspiciously like slicing and dicing the numbers to fit media spin. It seems like growth, but it is massaging the numbers against one variable or another to make it look like growth. Maybe they are comparing quarterly sales, or a sales projection, but one thing they are not doing is comparing apples to apples.

A Little History Please

Ritholtz.com’s post on this subject pointed the way to revealing numbers.
2007: (pre-recession) Holiday sales: $516 billion
Holiday sales as percentage of annual retail sales: 19.5% Inflation Rate 2.85%
2008: Holiday sales: $495.5 billion
Holiday sales as percentage of annual retail sales: 18.6% Inflation Rate 3.8%
2009: Holiday sales: $504.8 billion
Holiday sales as percentage of annual retail sales: 19.4% Inflation Rate -.34% Continue reading →

Posted in Finances and Money, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

ASC astrology lecture: Introduction to techniques in Uranian astrology

Posted on January 3, 2012 by Beth Turnage

Arlene Marcia Nimark

Arlene Marcia NImark

Arlene Marcia Nimark will lecture on an “Introduction to Techniques in Uranian Astrology” Thursday, January 19, 2012 at the Keeney Center, 200 Main Street, Wethersfield, CT for the Astrological Society of Connecticut.

A modern invention, innovative Uranian astrology was developed in the early part of the 20th century by verifying or denying assumptions by means of observation rather than rely blindly on astrological traditions. The result was the creation of a dynamic system that examines the harmonics of a natal chart and makes predictions based midpoints and the positions of traditional and theoretical planets. 

Utilizing the 360 and 90-degree dial, in this lecture, you will see how 12 pieces of a chart are turned into a multidimensional kaleidoscope bringing in houses, planetary pictures and eight trans-Neptunian planets providing planetary pictures never seen before. Arlene will also discuss forecasting adding progressions, transits and solar arc directions. You will see how a Uranian astrologer selects good days and avoids bad days. Be sure to bring your chart with you.

Arlene Marcia Nimark, Uranian Astrologer, C.A NCGR, is a full time Astrologer since 1980, using the Uranian system since 1982. She is a worldwide lecturer and is on the faculty of the New York City chapter of NCGR, and is often on the faculty of NCGR conferences and UAC. She has written many articles. www.amnuranianastrologer.com

The Astrological Society of Connecticut is a 501(c) 3 non-profit organization; one of the largest and most active local astrological organizations in the United States, it is dedicated to educating people interested in astrology, sponsoring lectures, workshops, fund-raising fairs, and social activities.

Posted in Astrological Society of Connecticut, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Techniques in Astrology: Finding Lady Gaga’s Ascendant

Posted on December 30, 2011 by Beth Turnage
Lady Gaga in 2010

Lady Gaga in 2010

The outrageous Lady Gaga is being sued by a former personal assistant for putting, well, outrageous demands on the amount of time and range of duties foisted on the hapless assistant. The assistant was paid a measley $75,000 per year for duties ranging from handing Gaga towels in the bathroom to managing the fashion diva’s wardrobe. The assistant claims that she wasn’t given breaks or at times, time to sleep and that she is owed over $380,000 dollars in overtime.

People who work for you are sixth house matters, but there is one problem in discussing this in Lady Gaga’s chart. We don’t know her birth time. Though there are several birth times bandied about on the internet, no one in particular seems reliable.

So what is to be done? Rectification! Under the principle that certain things happen when the planets hit certain places in the birth chart, an astrologer will matching life events to astrological events. Most, though not all, of this work revolves around fixing the angles, the ascendant and the midheaven in particular.

Physical Characteristics of the Ascendant

Often in rectification we look first to the physical characteristics of the subject to try to narrow down the Ascendant since the ascendant often dictates facial and body features. Fixing an ascendant by body features is tricky business. While the ascendant does have a say in what features we notice, the Sun sign and other personal planets can influence how you look. For instance, this astrologer has a Taurus ascendant that would indicate stocky frame but as an Aquarian I was taller than the other girls, (and some of the boys!).

Her facial shape is most decidedly oval, with oval, heavy lidded eyes and a longish nose. This could indicate a Virgo or Gemini ascendant, though with a Gemini ascendant you would expect small, triangular eyes. She self describes her eye color as green, though the eyes often appears other colors from time to time. There is speculation that since she is of Italian descent her eyes and hair are naturally brown. However she is also of German descent, so that any eye color is possible. If she were naturally a brunette with brown eyes and with her short frame you would gravitate to Virgo as the ascendant. However you can’t discount that heavy bodied thigh area and her almond shaped eyes, an indication of Sagittarius ascendant. Continue reading →

Posted in Astrology Techniques, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Astrology Explored’s Top Ten Stories of 2011

Posted on December 26, 2011 by Beth Turnage

Father Time

This has been the year for incredible shocks, perhaps due to the planet of the unexpected entering the sign of the Ram, a recipe for explosive happenings. Here is Astrology Explored’s roundup of the top ten stories of 2011.

1.) Nothing captures the attention of the public like a fairytale wedding so perhaps it is no surprise that Prince William’s marriage to commoner Kate Middleton dominated world news. Astrologically, theirs promises to be an important and defining relationship not just for themselves but for their nation too. You can read about the history of the UK’s royal marriages and why Will and Kate’s union is so important to the monarchy in this piece:

The Astrology of Royal Marriages: The Yod—Destiny Plays a Hand

2.) Nothings hurts the psyche of public more than the loss of a beloved musician. Amy Winehouse’s death from alcohol poisoning saddened us all.

The Astrology of Substance Abuse: Amy Winehouse’s Addictions

3.) With the economy in the tank, people have been more drawn than ever to the amazingly large lottery jackpots won this year. Shocking, isn’t it.

The astrology of the Lottery: Synchronicity in the numbers
The astrology of luck: The transiting part of fortune

4.) When the planet of the unexpected enters the sign of action what happens?

Fukishima

The astrology of disasters: The Fukishima Power Plant Explosion

5.) Kim Kardashian dominates the headlines with her fairytale wedding. Astrologers were agog she held it during Mercury retrograde. Amazingly the marriage lasted . . . for all of 72 days.

Astrology and Celebrity: Kim Kardashian’s Big Life

6.) Surprisingly the world did not end:

Astrology and Prophecy: Preacher Says World to End–Astrologer Disagrees

7.) But the marriage of California’s power couple did:

Relationship Astrology: Schwarzenegger and Shriver Terminated?

8.) An astronomer tried to tell astrologers how to practice astrology. Funny

Astrology and Astronomy: The Ophiuchus Debate

9.) Extreme weather in the United States made us sit up, unless of course we were ducking for cover:

The Astrology of Disaster: Springfield, MA’s Deadly Tornado

10.) Film icon Elizabeth’s Taylor’s death at 79 and the book of Richard Burton’s love letters to her gave us pause to reflect on one of the world’s great love affairs:

The Astrology of Relationships: Taylor & Burton–A Pluto Connection

What stories will 2012 bring? Stayed tuned to Astrology Explored.

Image published under a Creative Commons license as issued by Photobucket.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Astrology of Zodiac Ages: Christmas and the Next Two Thousand Years

Posted on December 25, 2011 by Beth Turnage

Christ is born in a manger(Note: Click on YouTube video on bottom to listen as you read)

“So this is Christmas.
And what have we done?
Another year over,
And a new one begun”

–John Lennon

Much of the world marks the birth of Christ on December 25 even though many of us know darn well that the chances of Christ being born on this actual day is pretty close to nil.

No matter.

He was the herald of the Age of Pisces, a symbol of man’s potential to rise beyond the limitations of our body so that we can reach out to the heavens.

We are young species compared to others on this planet. Our baser natures can drive us to murder our own kind, a rarity in the animal world. Yet we are a cooperative species, in which we will send aid and comfort to those who are nameless and faceless, yet whose plight move us to compassion. In our species toolbox is insatiable curiosity, and the opposable thumb. We have the capacity to reason and with this reason see beyond ourselves, to other dimensions that exist in the Universe.

Yet for all our incredible abilities and what we’ve accomplished, many of us still fail to grasp the lesson the herald of the Age of Pisces tried to tell us— Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Life Cycle Astrology: Prince Philip’s Health

Posted on December 24, 2011 by Beth Turnage

Prince Phillip

Prince Phillip

Buckingham Palace announced that 90 year old Prince Philip had a “good night” after heart surgery where he given a stent to treat a blocked coronary artery.

In his later years, the consort of queen has amazed many with his stamina, attending 400 hundred engagements a year, giving 7 speaking engagements a month while engaging in competitive carriage racing. As the Prince turned 90 he scaled back his schedule, joking to Oldie magazine who gave him an Oldie Award:

“There is nothing like it for morale to be reminded that the years are passing — ever more quickly — and that bits are beginning to drop off the ancient frame. But it is nice to be remembered at all.”

Philip has been active in sports up through his 70’s though a wrist injury forced him to give up polo when he was 50. He has had minor brushes with health issues over the years, the latest one prior a lung infection in 2008. Still, overall, and especially for his age, he is a healthy man. Surprisingly then, even though stent surgery is usually very low risk, with most patients returned home within 24 hours, his astrology chart shows that Phillip isn’t out of the woods yet. Continue reading →

Posted in Astrology and Celebrity, Transits | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Astrology and Astronomy of the Star of Bethlehem

Posted on December 22, 2011 by Beth Turnage

The Magin and the Star of Bethlehem

For many years the story of the star announcing the birth of Jesus was regarded as matter to be taken on faith. For many years astronomers and astrologers have worked on fixing the date of the Star of Bethlehem. Now some even believe they have found the correct date by trying to match biblical details, history and astronomy, all of which describe this event:

The Gospel of Matthew:

2:1Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the king, behold, Wise-men from the east came to Jerusalem, saying, 2:2Where is he that is born King of the Jews? for we saw his star in the east, and are come to worship him. 2:3And when Herod the king heard it, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him. 2:4And gathering together all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Christ should be born. 2:5And they said unto him, In Bethlehem of Judaea: for thus it is written through the prophet,

2:6And thou Bethlehem, land of Judah,

Art in no wise least among the princes of Judah:

For out of thee shall come forth a governor,

Who shall be shepherd of my people Israel.

2:7Then Herod privily called the Wise-men, and learned of them exactly what time the star appeared. 2:8And he sent them to Bethlehem, and said, Go and search out exactly concerning the young child; and when ye have found him, bring me word, that I also may come and worship him. 2:9And they, having heard the king, went their way; and lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was. 2:10And when they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy. 2:11

The Prophecy

The story is striking, and memorable–the birth of a king foretold by a star. But this story is not new in the ancient world. Abraham’s birth was foretold by a star, as well as Caesar, Pythagoras, Yu, and Krishna. Jesus’ birth story followed in a path well tread by Middle Eastern culture. And certain Jewish factions looked to The Star Prophecy that foretold a savior that would wrest Palestine from Roman control. Continue reading →

Posted in Astrology and History, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment